Et Tu, Jonny? Norwich City’s Nest Of Vipers

Marcus Junius Brutus, Benedict Arnold, Lando Calrissian and now, Jonathan Rowe finds himself added to the list of history’s greatest betrayers, turncoats, deserters and all-round shits.

This is hyperbole of course, trying to force a transfer from a provincial football club is not on a par with assassination or colluding with Darth Vader – I assure you it, it’s much more serious than that.

Part of the shock at Rowe’s behaviour is that it feels like a bit of a throwback to another time. There is a carefully managed leaving template for the modern player to follow; the almost apologetic farewell statement, the thanks for the memories highlights video and then allowing the fans 24 hours of grieving time before the Instagram profile picture is changed. Recent high profile departures have been met with sadness yes, but also a dose of pragmatic resignation. Players whose ability and value had reached a tipping point where the club could no longer hold them back and the incoming transfer fee would basically keep the club running. Maddison, Buendia, Sara etc have all left with a sense of appreciation and our best wishes. 

And then there’s Jonny, who, as I feed my number 27 shirt into a wood chipper, I must also give my thanks to. Thanks for reminding us of how gloriously selfish, greedy, thick-skinned and bone-headed the modern player can still be if they apply themselves – a good old fashioned villain.

With that in mind, I present my NCFC Traitor XI. A rogues’ gallery of players, and one manager in particular, who have merrily torched Carrow Bridge upon hotfooting it out of here. Bear in mind that I am no historian, the early 1990s being my first point of reference. So if Sandy Brasso or Gordon Flummox once agitated for a move to Bradford Park Avenue for an extra 10 shillings per season, their reputations will be spared here.

Keeper: Andy Marshall

After 195 appearances and fresh from picking up the Player of the Season award, Marshall decided to leave as a free agent to… Ipswich. Really, Andy?! He was a good keeper in some terrible sides in that era and he played a large part in the team avoiding relegations, but come on, legacy Andy…legacy.

Danny Mills

It takes something to be disliked while still playing for your hometown club, but old Danny somehow managed it. He doesn’t seem to get much airtime these days in which to name every team he ever played for except for us.

Steve Bruce

A Norwich player who won a trophy for goodness sake, yet your Dad/Grandad always bore a grudge over something. I shall use the below evidence from the always reliable Wikipedia. Plus, this fantasy team desperately needs a central defender.

“Bruce publicly expressed his desire to sign for (Manchester United). The deal came close to collapsing when Norwich asked for a transfer fee of £900,000 after initially agreeing to accept £800,000, leading to Bruce refusing to play any further matches for the club.”

Sammy Clingan

“Oh Sammy Clingan, it could’ve been you!” I always found it genuinely amusing that this was still being sung years later. A great example of the long-game pettiness of football supporters everywhere. Try and get off the pitch following relegation to League One before handing in a transfer request if you’d like to be fondly remembered.

Damien Francis

A fairly standard case of “I’m too good for you now, I’m off” which is always so well received straight after a relegation. I was present at the shared trauma of Craven Cottage 2005 and in defence of Francis, it was harsh to identify him as the only player who had given up that afternoon.

Tim Sherwood

ACN’s Terri Westgate recalls: “Sherwood pretty much went on strike, then kept going on about mitigating circumstances, but never actually explained what he was on about.”

Alex Pritchard

Almost a forgotten one already and another warning of why you just shouldn’t ever leave Norwich. Pritchard came back from injury, started to play well and then promptly abandoned Daniel Farke’s promotion ship before all the fun started. Farke gave him a little pat on the head after beating his Huddersfield team on the way to another title.

Andy Townsend

ACN Trequartista Jon Punt recalls: “It wasn’t so much the nature of the departure with Townsend, it was more the fact that as time wore on, the more Andy’s selective memory kicked in. At least acknowledge a club who gave you a foot up, but no, there was nothing.

And that wasn’t for me, Clive”

Keith O’Neill

It feels a bit harsh including Disco Keith, he knew his career was likely to be short due to injuries and he was one of our few standout players at that time. He’s being included here though thanks to the time he appeared on Soccer AM and said something along the lines of the best thing to come out of Norwich is the road to London. Slick media training for players arriving too late for Keith.

Lewis Grabban

The most recent example of a refusal to play strop before Rowe. Grabban’s shenanigans before the League Cup tie at Rotherham did at least pave the way for Ricky van Wolfwinkel to double his NCFC goal tally. Grabban often seemed grumpily out of place during his time here. Himself and Rowe will now share the distinction of both scoring twice against Ipswich yet managing to be disliked, some feat.

Jonathan Rowe

Our most recent inductee, Jonny has embarked on a spectacularly badly-handled and ill-advised exit strategy. A dramatic hero to zero turnaround, really like no other on this list. One more season of development here and he probably would have left with everyone’s blessing. But no, the lure of la ligue des agriculteurs proved too strong.

So quite frankly, bollocks to him.

Manager: Paul Lambert

Well we could hardly act all surprised given how he arrived in the first place. That said, the manner of his departure and his destination was hard to take. This wasn’t the Aston Villa of today, they appeared then as a mess from the outside and were on a slow decline towards relegation. At the time, Lambert should have been aiming higher, but he was out of the door before you could say Ian Culverhouse. To be fair, Paul’s reputation with Norwich fans has since improved, with him having relegated Ipswich and proved himself to be largely unemployable.

Back from the Brink

Commendations to Wes Hoolahan and Ian Crook who both pulled back from the edge of infamy.

Chippy got as far as having official photos taken in an Ipswich shirt before adding to his legend status by reneging on the deal and annoying all of Suffolk. To be fair to Crook, it must have been hard not to reconcile with an employer who has just sacked Gary Megson.

Wes famously referred to Norwich as a “shithouse club” in an unguarded moment and pointedly didn’t celebrate a goal against his suitors, Judas Lambert’s Aston Villa. Yet just a few years later, Wessi is leaving the Carrow Road pitch for the final time with the stadium in tears of appreciation.