The Along Come Norwich Review – Chelsea (h)

Biggest Positive

We scored a goal! Yes it was a penalty, yes we lost, but when you’re playing the kind of football we are you’ve got to celebrate the small wins. A special shout out must also go to Captain, Leader, NFT purveyor John Terry, whose NFT collection is now worth 90% less than it was at the start of the week, which provided me (Matthew) a much-needed laugh. 

Not that Chelsea needed much help in turning themselves into a laughing stock: they are in legal and ethical limbo. Their owner has been sanctioned by the government because of his corrupt closeness to the man now bombing Ukraine, and they can’t even sell replica shirts in their club shop. For years, Chelsea have enjoyed the fruits of stolen billions without a care in the world. Well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of their owner’s own actions. 

Biggest Negative

The first half was as timid a showing as we’ve seen from Norwich over the last few months. It’s all well and good for Dean Smith to heap gushing praise on his players for really showing up in the last 45 minutes and reacting so well to his half time team talk, but is it too much to ask that they show up for the whole match? Rashica and Rupp’s introductions clearly had a massive impact but those torrid displays of turgidness are one of the clear causes of our seemingly inevitable relegation. 

Funniest moment of the game

The bird the bird the bird THE BIRD! Oh my. If ever a half of football needed a lost blackbird to make a home on the Carrow Road pitch, it was that one. The subplots of its positioning, watching it fly away to Chelsea’s box where it could rest safely in the knowledge that it wouldn’t be disturbed. The club official disrupting the game in an ultimately pointless attempt to try and pick it up. The panicked yelling whenever a player got too near to it (Josh Sargent, you nearly had blood on your hands). Not since Mo Leitner’s hat took a trip to the directors’ seats has the secondary entertainment so surpassed what was served up by the players.

Did an Along Come Norwich happen?

A VAR decision went our way while we were playing against one of the Big 6, so that’s essentially a reverse Along Come Norwich.

Norwich’s best player

Before we begin, I’m taking the perhaps controversial step of disregarding the first half because A) we weren’t great and B) I (Maddie) was mostly watching the bird or Lungi warm-up, so I couldn’t tell you much about any individual performances. 

The second half saw Pukki put himself about quite a bit and stayed calm in the face of Mendy’s penalty tactics (that he only had one more touch than Zimmermann, who played 45 minutes, is a separate issue). Kabak looked fairly decent given he’s played no football since Boxing Day, and Max looked better for having been dropped against Brentford. With all that said, it’s hard to look past Milot Rashica. We were a better side for his presence and he managed to trick his way across Chelsea’s midfield on several occasions. I still think we’ve yet to find a system that truly utilises his talents and allows him to best link up with Pukki, but the talent is there.

What was the atmosphere like?

Given the Brentford game and given the messing about with our fixtures by the league, and given the shite performance and given the early Chelsea goal, and given the Chelsea fans singing the name of the best mate of a war criminal, this was never going to be a belter. In short, the atmosphere was chilly and hostile. The bird perked everyone up though.

Lungi watch

WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO? I (Maddie again, obviously) get that he’s been injured. I get he’s not played since Watford. Yet if I’m Lungi, sitting on the bench watching McLean get picked ahead of me time and time and time again, I’m getting plunged into an existential crisis. Before the injury, he’d grown into the side and had formed a good partnership with Lees-Melou, one which looked far more effective than anything else we’ve seen in midfield this season. Ah, Lungi. One day you’ll find the appreciation you deserve.

Summary

I’ve written extensively about Norwich’s woes this season, so I (Maddie) hope you’ll indulge me in a long old rant about Chelsea.

We can all relate to Bill Shankly’s claim that football isn’t a matter of life and death, that it’s more important. It is our very way of life; we plan our weeks around kick-off times. Our mood is dictated by the performance of eleven men we’ve never met. Some of our best memories come from watching our team in the glow of the floodlights.

The most important thing about Shankly’s quote is understanding when it doesn’t hold true.

There have been plenty of discussions this season around Norwich’s current ownership, from Norwich fans and the wider football community. Norwich lack ambition, they’re a disgrace to the Premier League, their very presence in the top flight is a stain on the beautiful game. As a fanbase, the supposed ‘ambition’ of our owners is one of our most divisive issues.

Then, at the other end of the spectrum, there’s Chelsea.

You cannot escape the images coming from Ukraine. You shouldn’t. Millions fleeing in fear of their lives. Children’s hospitals bombed. Babies clutched to their mother’s chest in makeshift bomb shelters. These are the atrocities of Vladimir Putin, and on Thursday night Chelsea fans chanted the name of one of the men who supported his climb to Presidency.

Everyone knew about Abramovich’s relationship with the Kremlin. The money used to buy Chelsea was gained during the collapse of the Soviet Union, Abramovich’s part in Russia’s loans-for-shares program allowing him to become one of several individuals who found themselves very wealthy very quickly. When Putin set his sights on the Russian presidency Abramovich personally recommended him to Boris Yeltsin. There are suggestions, vehemently denied by Abramovich, that he purchased Chelsea on the recommendation of Putin: these suggestions are unproven.

Abramovich denies having a close relationship with the Kremlin. Indeed, he recently attempted to hand stewardship of Chelsea to the Chelsea Charitable Foundation before putting the club up for sale four days later. These are clearly the actions of a man who knew his complete lack of a relationship with Putin meant he had no retribution to fear. The announcement of sanctions came on Thursday morning, but by then the Chelsea fans had made it clear where they stood.

The first round of Premier League fixtures to take place after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine saw shows of solidarity at all grounds. As Turf Moor joined together for a minute’s applause, the visiting Chelsea fans chanted their owner’s name. 

At what point does your football club become more important than human lives? How do you get to the mindset that a Premier League trophy, a cup run, a star player, matters more to you than the war crimes supported by your owner? It is a trend becoming more and more apparent in the Premier League when just months ago we were expected to applaud “the long-suffering Newcastle fans who’ve waited and dreamed for this moment” when their club was purchased by a state actively murdering the people of Yemen. 

Following the game, Thomas Tuchel praised his players and staff after the match for producing a match-winning performance under “these circumstances.” Heroes, the lot of them. We’ll think of them with great sympathy when they can’t pay £40,000 for a private jet to take them to Middlesbrough. Tuchel, of course, dedicated Chelsea’s recent Club World Cup win to Abramovich: “Your input and passion made it possible. The trophy is for him.” 

It’s hard to know how to comprehend the cognitive dissonance we’re watching play out. Yes, the Abramovich era has yielded Premier Leagues, FA Cups, Champions Leagues. How have we reached a point where a trophy in a cabinet is enough to justify support for an owner so obviously connected to a despotic regime? How many videos of people screaming as bombs rain down on their homes are enough for you to reach the point where you think “hmmm, maybe this isn’t the guy we should be siding with’? 

Of course, it’s easy to say this when it’s not my club when the owners of my team made their money from cookery and journalism. I like to think, though, that Norwich wouldn’t reach that point. That we know where the line is, that we would never put the lives of innocents below our success on the pitch.

Football isn’t a matter of life and death, except when it is. We need to stand firm in condemning Abramovich and those who continue to support him.