The Optimist’s Fear Of Success

I am known for my sunny outlook.

I have previously self-identified as a “happy clapper”. I have sung up the Barclay and preached patience in the face of disappointing results. I never give up on a game until the final whistle is blown. I’m not so much a glass half full person, but someone who is happy to have glass at all.

My Pollyanna outlook in football, as in life, is often countered with the many doom and gloomers of this world. Those who cope with the uncertainlty of life by assuming everything will go badly, on the off chance they may occasionally be pleasantly surprised.

I’m not completley blinkered. I remember the feeling of inevitability at the end of the Roeder era, and was resigned to relegation that year before it was ever confirmed. But also if I see a glimmer or hope or flashes of good play, I’ve the imagination to foresee how it could all work out for the best.

So early on this season when we weren’t hanging on to leads, or we were struggling to finish from the through ball, I saw promise and kept the faith when others were getting restless.

So skip forward a few of months, and with 13 games left we are top of the table after an amazing turnaround – though with a few teams still in hot pursuit, and nothing guaranteed. After that sluggish start I’ve seen and heard many fans say how happy they are for their early season pessimism to be proved wrong.

So I should be cock-a-hoop and smugly “I told you so”-ing it all over the socials. But I’m not.

It’s easy to be a dreamer, but when the dream has a chance of becoming a reality suddenly the nerves kick in. When we went top, I could feel the slow seep of caution. It’s too early, it only takes a couple of bad results to change everything, there’s a long way to go, many twists and turns to come… Now I’m looking at that lovely glass and thinking someone is about to swipe it away.

With every crunch game I start to fear that this is when it’s all going to come unstuck. The team will lose that confidence that enables them to pass the ball with such artful grace, the self-belief that makes 97th minute winners possible will disappear. The bubble has to burst at some point, doesn’t it?

However I’ve found the perfect antidote to my late season jitters – Herr Daniel Farke.

Hearing him speak at the Fans Social Q&A last week becalmed my anxiety. Cool, level headed and focussed on helping players enjoy their football. No discussions of “what ifs” , no “do or die” rhetoric, no talk of promotion – if he can be so easy-going with all that weight of expectation, with the future hopes and success of so many as part of his job, maybe I can chill out a bit.

No one knows yet how it will all end, but this season has been a blast for NCFC fans. Entertaining, surprising and dramatic. Let’s take a moment to forget about the ultimate end-goal, put aside the nerves and negative thoughts, stop worrying about the future and riff on this high.

Just enjoy the glorious football. It’s what Farke wants.